Trying hard to search for the words which elude me. Waiting for gold to strike but it goes farther away. How did this distance come between us, my pen and paper? Have i lost track of who i am or is it just a phase that will phase out? Hopefully, the strength will come because without the thrust of your magic my soul's lifeless. All i need is the elixir of accomplishment that i achieve when my pen drops and my heart beats fast. Till then my lips are parched and my being is malnourished. I wonder, how people pass their days in absence of this fury of words.. words not of sound but of the mute.
Until the rattle of these words awakens my mind the day seems empty. It feels like time is slipping from my hands to punish me. Since when did i fall so much in love? Now the distance makes me irate and as intolerant as a tyrant. I search for my prey to dig claws in because this hunger is making me wild. As i sit here, restless in anticipation, there is someone out there who has hunted down my feed. People wait to see me conquer and here i am, waiting for nothing. There's a blanket around my treasure that protects it from me. It says that i'm not ready to pursue all that i have gathered so far. I lost my way in the drunken slumber of lust only to realise that my love is lost.
As you might have noticed I have days when I draw a lot and days when I don't. But one thing I have always noticed is when I draw regularly my mind is calmer. The over thinking and overanalyzing that I subject myself to is reduced. I feel lighter. Its a beautiful realization to have something that is yours to enjoy and share. I love to draw. I'm not very competitive about it. I just draw. I want to develop my own skills and get better. Such a gift I tell you to be able to do that. To see yourself grow. #draw #everyday #allday #makeorbreak #progress #wip #sketching #therapy #sketchbook #illustration #illustrationaday #glasses #self #happiness #devartme
To you, i come today and seek refuge. Let me surrender to the only world i know... me and my words. I know that these words are only a medium to the real deal that hides away from the eyes of strangers. I never knew that my short trip to Neverland would estrange me from you this way. Had i known, i would've stayed to patronize you to persist in my favour. However, your reaction is not fair on this amateur student. Experiences enrich the treasure that i've hoarded. So wasn't my journey beneficial to you in any way? Or are you so glum that you would rather not look this way? Give me a chance for i have returned. They say that it's never too late. So here i am, waiting for your appraisal. It's not the treasure i care about. It is about the search and if you don't let me come back then there's nothing to search for anymore. So existence is futile. Heavy words to say but nonetheless true.
Can't you read the desperation in my plea to see how deep is this truth? Give me my self. Give me my soul. I wait.