I promised

I’m not in a hurry. I don’t want to compete. I’m not even sure if we live in the same world. When I stood at the center of Times Square, I didn’t want to run away from the overwhelming crowd of amused faces nor did I want to be one of those faces.

Have you ever got that feeling that maybe, you live in a parallel universe which runs 5 times slower than the rest of the world? How else do you relish every second of time that you’ve got? If you walk at the same pace as the rest of the world, every day will rush by as a blitzkrieg. If you run ahead of them, you’ll reach the finish line before anyone else and once you do… what next?

I’m not in a dream. I’m not asleep. I’m not better than you. I’m not any worse. I live under the same blue sky as you do. I breathe the same oxygen as you. Then, why is this sphere of vision so different from yours?

Why does it matter that it is different?

This year I didn’t make any resolutions. I just promised to myself that I’ll take deeper breaths, laugh loudly without holding myself back, smile at familiar strangers and make them believe that it’s not so bad.

This year I promised to myself that I’ll blow up more bubbles and balloons. I won’t burst them with the pinpricks of cynical realism. I’ll make as many plans as possible and follow them up with all that I’ve got. Even, if they don’t materialize, I want to be able to say that I wanted something.

I don’t want to be carried away by the thrust of the gushing force of this deluge of life. I want to float but not be carried away. It’s a choice. It always is.

I promised to myself that I’ll be honest and open, just enough to make you shy. I promised that I’ll try to stand in your shoes even if I can’t walk in them. I’ll dance even if there’s no music.

I promised that I’ll be more human and celebrate my mistakes as much as I gloat over my victories. I’ll try to blur the boundaries for why can’t I laugh when I’m sad and cry when I’m happy?

You don’t live just once. But you live twice. One life is where you are driving through the rigmarole and the other is where you live your dreams. At this point, on this morning, I know for a fact that anything is possible if you truly believe.

I hope that one day you wake up to that morning as well and if you already have then let’s rock and roll, baby, shall we?!